Lesson #14
Some days, dancing makes you feel vulnerable and insecure, about your body, about your morality, your goals, your college education (or lack thereof). But other days, like today - a day off - I actually wish I was dancing.
- I feel like I could go in right now and put in an hour or two without pay and it would improve my mood and outlook on the day. I can't think of another job I've ever had that I would actually consider doing for free. There's something about being a part of that menagerie that makes me feel good about myself, strong, and powerful. Maybe it's because I've struggled all my life with body image, and I'm finally at a place where I like the way I look, enough so that I'm willing to be on display fully nude. I've heard people say, "Little girls don't grow up dreaming of becoming strippers." But you wanna know something ironic about that? I used to have the thought, after patronizing strip clubs, "Wow! I would love to feel confident enough about my body to be able to dance naked for people." Granted, I didn't have that thought as a child, but I did have it. So in a way, this is something of an achievement for me, a goal met. It's not about what's happening on the other side of the glass. It's all about me, and that I am, at long last, comfortable in my own skin.
when i was little, i actually did grow up dreaming of being a stripper and would sometimes put on shows, in the bathroom mirror, in elementary school. my "plan b" was "butler."
ReplyDelete@Big Fag Greek Brother: Now that I think about it, when we were in junior high school, I used to put on strip shows in my bedroom to Apollonia 6 and Prince & the Revolution (the most explicit music we had access to at the time).
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